I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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