DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
