I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
