i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
