What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
