I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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