but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The beer is more important than you right now.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
