fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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