Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
