so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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