just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
