my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
