just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
pop tarts are not kleenex
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
