I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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