New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
