Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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