New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
