Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
