On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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