you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
