so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
