i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
