We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
