Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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