were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
