Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
