The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
as a side note pls kill me
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