Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
