Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
