Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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