3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Randomize
