He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
