Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
