It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
