Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
