He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
