Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
