from now on my penis is your penis
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
