Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
