I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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