Can Purell be used as lube?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Never joke about your clitoris.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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