Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
