There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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