Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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