If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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