Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
