Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So drunk its hurt
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
