Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
