We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
