Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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