A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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