...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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