Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
