I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
