I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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