i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
