If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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