So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
